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A poetic ode to the year just past

There was much in 2012 about which to rhyme

Published: Wednesday, Jan. 9, 2013 8:14 a.m. CDT

(MCT) — Another year over It vanished so fast The year twenty twelve Now belongs to the past.

The war for the White House Invaded the year The candidates played To our hopes and our fear.

While Mitt split the world Into moochers and makers And said, “Forty-seven percent are just takers.”

Obama said, “Romney? The dude’s a fat cat! And don’t get me wrong But you didn’t build that.”

At last, in November, The campaigning done, The votes were all counted Obama had won.

Yet war carried on And it got ever plainer: Obama must now Duke it out with John Boehner!

A storm we called Sandy Dumped torrents of rain And madmen with guns Left a torrent of pain.

A temple, a theater A cafe, a mall A spa and a school — So much grief in them all.

And here in Chicago The bullets still fly The murder count rises We fight about why.

It’s true that we dazzled The world during NATO There’s reason to think That our city is greato.

But schools were in trouble The teachers were blue The parents and students Cried, “What can we do?”

King Rahm and Queen Karen Went mano a mano And Jean-Claude Brizard He got caught in the guano.

King Rahm bellowed, “Charters!” Queen Karen called, “Strike!” (But, hey, we sure got Some nice lanes for my bike.)

Then young Jesse Jr. So sick and so pale Grew worried he might Follow Blago to jail.

From North Side to South Side To West we did grouse That parking downtown Costs as much as a house.

The year brought some progress For folks who are gay Unless you are talking About Chick-fil-A.

The kids all said, “YOLO,” The old folks said, “What?” The kids all said, “Gangnam,” Rush Limbaugh said, “Slut.”

We lost Whitney’s voice Man, could she belt a tune We said, “Goodbye, Neil, The first man on the moon.”

Goodbye to the Twinkie Goodbye to bad Lance — No longer a hero With medals from France.

But here’s a good reason To stand up and cheer: The Mayans were wrong — We survived the whole year.

We lived through the drought (Though we’d never survive Without “Shades of Grey” And the new iPhone 5.)

The fiscal clock’s ticking? The cliff is on fire? The world will explode If the tax cuts expire?

Relax, ‘cause it’s simple The right thing to do: Let’s leave the decision To Honey Boo Boo.

Mary Schmich is a columnist for the Chicago Tribune. She can be contacted at mschmich@tribune.com.

©2012 the Chicago Tribune

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