I have been a married woman now for one year, two months and 13 days. It has been several weeks since I have written a blog due to time constraints, but I'm back with even more wedding, and even marriage knowledge.
They say the first year of marriage is the hardest. I think it is safe to say this is an outdated statement. It came from a time when most men and women did not live together prior to getting married so on top of learning how to be husband and wife, you had to learn how to live together and deal with each other's bad habits.
My husband and I lived together for five years before getting hitched so I had already come to terms with his habit of emptying his pockets all over our counters and never hanging up his coats in the coat closet.
And he had already learned to love the fact that I never make the bed and let my clean clothes sit in the hamper for weeks before putting them away.
But this isn't to say that we haven't learned some lessons in our first year as the Van Yperens.
Truthfully, they probably are lessons we should have learned in our previous seven years together, but some how being married has made those lessons sink in.
Although I would say there are several, the biggest lesson for me has been the insignificance of the last word.
My husband and I are very stubborn people (for those of us who know us, feel free to give a sarcastic "You think?" now). But my husband is a bit more stubborn than I am.
So when it comes to arguments, this quality about us tends to drag out these disagreements much longer than necessary. When one of us should just apologize for upsetting the other, it turns into a "who can give the silent treatment longer" war.
Obviously the answer is for one of us to be the bigger person and to initiate talking it through. Simple, right? So why did I need to get married to learn this lesson?
Because before, when we were just girlfriend and boyfriend, that silent treatment was to prove a point. And that point varied from "if he breaks the silence first, he has to admit he needs me," or "if she talks first, this shows she is going to stay with me," etc.
As a married couple there is no question of our love for one another or our commitment. One of us has to be the bigger person because there is no other option now. We are married and the only way to make it last forever as we've promised to do, is to sacrifice the last word and make it work, as a team.
Is the first year full of only wedded bliss, no. We are human and are going to both love and fight with that same passion that made you want to marry one another.
But as we move into our second year of marriage, I would venture to say the worst and the best is yet to come.